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Ken Barris | Raising the stakes    
11 days ago



There is a trick poets use, especially when inspiration is in short supply: they write poems about writing poems.
 
This is usually a bad idea. Poems about writing can put too much distance between readers and the raw, lived experience that strong poetry needs.
 
But every now and then, there are poems that draw us in and move us deeply and also happen to explore the workings of the creative process itself.
 
‘What We Never Say’ by Ken Barris, award-winning poet, novelist and short story writer, is an excellent example of such a poem. As the annual AVBOB Poetry Competition enters its second month, Barris has given us permission to share his poem to demonstrate how to build tension and create surprise in a few short lines.
 
What We Never Say

I could start a poem if I wished to.
Something about the warm night air,
the rain, frogs, the exact climate.
Extend from there, the torn
social heart, missing love not
between men and women but
in more general terms: how
we miss the point and go sliding
helpless downhill, always the image
of a brighter place refreshing the idea
of what isn’t there: a slick final
twist, dagger in the space
between semi and colon and fall
into reflective silence followed
(after a pause) by applause.
 
Notice how light and playful the tone is in the opening lines, as if nothing important is at stake. Then, the third line unexpectedly runs on into new territory, and we realise that we have stumbled into a broken scene. A few lines later, we are helplessly sliding down a hill in a world about which we care deeply.
 
Read the following three short exercises based on this poem:
 
  1. Create and release tension
Notice the urgency in the title Barris chose. Then, look at the first line again, and how it forces us to take a step back.
 
Now, apply this technique in your own work. Once you have written a few lines, reread them carefully and look for ways to heighten the tension, starting with the title of your poem. This will determine your reader’s first impression of your work, and you want it to be memorable. Keep returning to it and see whether it still fits.
 
  1. Raise the stakes
No matter how personal the subject of your poem, the reader has to care about it. For instance, in the poem above we seem to be reading a description of a landscape with warm air, rain and frogs in it. It is lovely, but there is nothing much for us to worry about. But then, suddenly, we are exploring the torn heart of an entire society, the frayed relationships between its members. In two or three lines, everything changes. To achieve this effect in your own poems, think about your reader’s likely expectations and find ways to challenge and exceed them.
 
  1. Create surprise
We remember poems better if they surprise us. Sometimes, changing the usual order of words can be very effective. See what happens in Barris’s poem when “not” is placed at the end of a sentence, after a verb. Or notice the jolt when we realise that we are included amongst those who “miss the point.”
 
In the next few days, write a poem in which you create an expectation in the reader’s mind, then, challenge it by raising the stakes.
 
The AVBOB Poetry Competition is open for submissions until 30 November 2024. Visit www.avbobpoetry.co.za today and familiarise yourself with the competition rules.
 



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