Homemaking for the Down-at-Heart
English poem by: Anna-Karien OttoTheme: Death
For most of our lives
words were our weapons
you the single mother
on the attack
and I the only daughter
on the defence
a raging battle
between who can get
the last word in
Now that your life
has almost reached a full stop
I measure my words carefully
but it’s too late
we continue to misunderstand one another
weighed down with hurt
an absence of logic
When I was young
the only way you knew
how to express emotion
was through the food
you made for me
what amounted to love
very closely resembled caring
sitting at table
was our common ground
a ceasefire
I will never forget
the wonder of what you made
pungent and bold
brimming with bonhomie and good health
spicy green bean bredie with pearled barley
macaroni cheese light as a soufflé
topped with diced ripe tomatoes
torn basil and your signature garlic & lemon dressing
seeping through a lattice of bubbly cheese
The last time I saw you
you were reading
Homemaking for the Down-at-Heart
which is about a mother
losing her mind
and a daughter
who still has some space to express her love
You had almost reached the end
but not quite
Now that cancer is holding you
tight in its jaws again
food has become reduced to an obligation
parcelled out in the hours between
the bare minimum required
This will be my way of homemaking
for the down-at-heart
finding a way to keep on
cooking eating living
finding a way to say
that love however broken
is somehow always the last word